Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ouch, Rejection Hurts

Sometimes I feel like rejection doesn't just take your breath away.  

It feels like a full swing axe wedged in your lungs and vinegar bathed onions in your eyes.

Media.  How do you find your place in the world?

Where does one find a home for one's writer's voice?  How exactly does a "full scale background in heavy journalism and resume of accomplishments" (as a newspaper editor just emailed me) fit for a young womyn of color like myself who doesn't have the finance to go back to school, has a passion for journalism, but can't seem to find a way to make headway.

I'm not asking or looking for an easy way, I'm looking for a chance.

Perhaps this why I admire make/shift, Colorlines, Left Turn, and Utne so much.  They not only feature, but RELY upon independent voices and fresh blood.  Perhaps this is why I need to wake up and stop hoping that big media is going to change and, rather, change MY expectations and look elsewhere for my work, my voice, my trembling tree of reason.

I understand that in any discipline - media, counseling, health - one must acquire experience and trust in a field before she is relied upon to exercise independent judgement and open wings.  That's not what I have a problem with though:  what happens when those experiences are not available to you?  Where do you go when doors are shut at the entry level?  What happens to young women who change their minds and want to be heard but are told they are too late?  Too late at 29 years old.

I am too late, apparently.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Sudy -

    I feel you on this. It is way, way hard. As a person that holds just a high school diploma, and a couple years of undergrad, it is really hard to get hired the traditional way. And freelancing is great work...if you can get it.

    But, take heart - I just got hired for a media job that I am helping to create myself. If you are out there enough, and people see your work, you'll get to the point where people want to hire you for *you* and not that bullshit fitting into all these little checkboxes thing that people seem to want. (And this comes from a former recruiter.)

    I've also made myself sick over chances I thought I've blown - but in the end, the right opportunities come knocking on your door. If it didn't happen, it wasn't right for you.

    Best of luck.


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