I stopped doing New Year's resolutions about four years ago and, instead, began coming up with themes for the year. I pick a theme and revisit it several times throughout the year and try to live up to the ideologies I had in mind when I came up with it.
2003 Health in all Forms
2004 Onward and Upward
Last year, Courage meant going the extra step and taking the time to say what I truly meant. This has taken many forms. One, there's therapy - I force myself to admit things that are difficult and must work through. Two, there's standing up for yourself. Mhmm, I could still work on that. Three, there's talking back to sales people who usually bulldoze over me because I have an irrational fear of confronting sales folks in Macy's, gas stations, or Best Buy. I rocked the schizzle on this one in 2006. It's hard work, but it's always worth it.
This year, Spectacular! takes on a very different form then my preceding themes. Spectacular! isn't something I necessarily want to have or believe in - it's my goal to build Spectacular! things, relationships, and self in 2007. This is beginning with drinking more water, preparing for the next day, choosing to love, and learning to let go of anchoring grudges. Not easy, but what is?
Spectacular! is very fitting for a number of reasons. First, Adonis and I will be getting the hell out of this city in 6 months and moving on. Holy Spectacular!. Thank you Jesus.
I have decided that if doctoral programs don't work this year, I am going to be pursuing writing and photography full time. Now THAT'S a Spectacular! decision on my part. I feel happier already.
And - how do I put this - 2006 was the most difficult year I've ever lived in my life. MAN! The transitions, the inner battles with mundane commutes and depression, understanding how this whole adulthood and marriage thing works, the reality that life is not guaranteed to give me anything but a shot and it's up to me to take it - all of it...it was so hard last year. Adonis and I both believe 2007 will be our year, a year of taking off the bandaids. The healing is over and mobility and energy shall now commence.
Spectacular!, in a nutshell, is unsinkable hope.