1 in 3 Gay Men Suffer Abuse, the Chicago Sun Times
H/T to Gay Person of Color.
Domestic violence has shades of purple. That's the color for the DV awareness ribbon. Domestic violence also has shades of gender bias.
While womyn are still the primary victims in a DV man/womyn relationship, the Chicago Sun Times is reporting that 1 in 3 men in a gay relationship suffers from abuse.
This latest research enforces what has been known since the beginning: domestic violence is about power and control. The yielding violence is a symptom of a greater sickness, and that sickness does not discriminate by gender.
Interpersonal violence is an ugly fact of our society, yet many people don't recognize it as violence. It is sadly brushed off as "passion", I think even more so in same sex relationships because it is assumed that it is between equals. But if you really look close, something very sad is going on and it is never OK.
ReplyDeletePeople trapped in abusive relationships need their friends because they are their avenue out.
thank you for posting this. I just came back from witnessing emotional abuse in a gay male relationship up close, with two men I will be working with soon. While it was going on, I found myself shrinking in on myself with PTS, until finally the abuser did one thing too many and I yelled out "that is horrible, stop it!" in the middle of a public place. The abuser looked at me, and then promptly reminded me of the power relationship he had over me, while his abused partner looked at the floor. It was like a night mare I couldn't escape from and that I couldn't help him escape from without risking the whole partnership. In the end I chose his safety over mine, but it did little good as I mostly likely lost the grant but the two of them remain together.
ReplyDeleteDiana,
ReplyDeleteThe role of friends can never be underestimated in domestic relationships. Sadly, it's one of the most difficult roles to be in because, like Anonymous just pointed out, you must be able to stay in a horrible mental place of witnessing what you know is wrong, support your friend, and not be in power to really *do* anything because it's not your relationship.
All any of us, as supporters, can do is persist. Persist in our resistance. Persist in our support of individuals, but not the violence. Continue to speak out against power domination in relationships - in any form - and advocate for the recognition of equal humanity in interpersonal relationships.