Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Two Hundo

This is my 200th post. Celebrate.

What I have been thinking about is my future. What does the future hold for me? In many ways, this is not a big deal. People look for jobs everyday. Everyone faces this uncertainty at one time or another.

For me, I see this as a crossroad, an opportunity and in the words of a special man-hero of mine, Lloyd Dobbler, I say, " I gotta admit I'm looking for something bigger. I'm looking for a dare to be great situation."

Every day, every morning, I wake up and wish there wasn't a laid out agenda in front of me. Is that living? Knowing everyday what is expected of you, what turns to make, and who you are going to be seeing? Am I nuts for thinking that I want my daily existence to mean more than a paycheck and saying all the right things? That I want a little unexpectedness in my life? That yesterday I almost wrote Adonis a love letter, but didn't have the time?

To me, that is failing. Failing to have time to write a love letter is not the kind of life I want. The speed and substance of my life is what matters most. If we are to live our lives working, I want my work to reflect so much more than this.

We all deserve that. We all deserve to wake up and be excited that the person next to us is who we truly want, both we and the day are chosen, and the life we live belongs to us.

3 comments:

  1. Found this quote today...seemed to fit, "When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement." - Mary Oliver

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  2. "If we are to live our lives working, I want my work to reflect so much more than this."

    My goodness, not that I thought I was alone, but many times we internalize these thoughts since they can come off as, in my experience as cynical and not positive-- and feeling lonely for not being acknowledged that, yes, this is a reality.

    Slowing down is a big effort I'm also trying to put forth.

    Thank you for sharing.

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