Maturity Squirming

Restlessness, a mature squirm, has hit me recently. My blog colors are reflecting that. Tomorrow I might go crazy and showcase a chartreuse background. I'm sorry if you are color-blind. Those comments are assuming you can distinguish the difference.

Because I am mature, I will not comment on the depressive cloud hovering over my state after the little toddler spanking of a BCS Championship Bowl defeat we experienced last night. go bucks. (It's intentional - no capital letters.)

Pinned on my humongous corkboard on my wall at work, there is a white marbled frame. Inside this frame is a card with a bright drawing of a footpath trail and walker. There is a little person, unknown gender, who has packed a small bag and small blanket and chooses to go left at a Y in the road. There is a sign at the Y of the footpath. The walker has two choices, two arrows pointing opposite directions.

The right arrow reads: No Longer An Option.
The left arrow reads: Your Life.

I didn't understand immediately when I first saw this. Draw it out if you're not a mental picture kind of person. It's a profound statement. We all go through times in our life when we choose; we choose to behave or disobey or disavow. This picture is about that empowered choice. We always have the option to choose what is not right for our soul - a broken relationship, an unhealthy lifestyle, a meaningless job, a life-taking habit like smoking or obsessive thoughts.

But, once we decide to let go of what is barring us from pure joy, true completion, it becomes 'no longer an option.' It simply becomes unavailable. You just and must decide for yourself what is your life and what is no longer an option.

I sometimes wonder for myself how many times I've tried to let go. My pride. My wanting approval. Hate. Suspicion. So much envy.

Among many things, we must learn to let go.